(^^^Not me... But one day!)
I recently had a meeting with my health coach. We have decided to take a break from the healthy weight program over winter break. This gives me the opportunity to test myself in the 'real world.' The advantage of the healthy weight program is I get to meet with someone once a week to track my progress, answer questions, and get through any doubt and insecurities I have. When she had suggested taking a break from it, I was shocked to realize how much the program was actually helping me. I was scared to leave her office. I didn't think I was going to be able to motivate myself enough for a month without them. Including my trainer and nutritionist. The last meetings I had with them I tried to stretch as much as possible because I knew the break from them was getting closer.
This unfortunately came at a time when I was taking finals. My eyes were glued to the computer screen writing paper after paper. I was still going to the gym early every morning to work out, but felt myself getting weaker everyday. My energy levels were low, and nothing I ate felt like enough fuel for my system. I would get tired almost instantaneously to where I couldn't catch my breath, and my heart rate would sky rocket. This made me so frustrated. I knew I wasn't preforming to the best of my abilities, and felt I was slacking big time. I found myself not being able to focus on my papers either, which made me even more frustrated.
I was definitely lost not knowing what to do.
What I didn't realize, or what I hadn't learned, was that levels of stress can cause a lack of performance. Even though I didn't physically feel stressed, and I was just plowing through finals like usual, I didn't realize that my body was still reacting to it. Those stress levels weighed down my body in a different way that left me unable to do my best.
My trainer explained this all to me. It made complete sense.
So I had to make a decision. Either keep going in this same fashion, or take it easy and focus all my attention on school for the rest of the week.
I chose the latter. I thought long and hard about it, and had to tell myself that it was ok just for the week. I wasn't giving up, but I had to do it for the better of my education.. Something that is extremely important to me too.
So I finished my paper a day early, and the next morning I picked right back up! I didn't feel at all like I had given up. And Surprisingly I felt so much more energetic and alive. I gave that work out my all, and felt great about it!
In line with this, there was another decision I had to make.
I had originally signed up for two intersession courses during winter break. These classes are 5, 9 hour days, worth 3 credits each. Just thinking about them stressed me out. And thinking back on how stressed I was with finals while trying to keep up with my health simultaneously, I had to drop them. I knew it would eventually create a wall between me and my health to a point I don't know I could have turned around from again. So I decided that instead, I am going to spend the break focusing on this lifestyle change. It is important to me, and I don't want to lose track of it because of some quick fix classes.
Therefore!
I have set some goals for myself over the break. All my attention is going to focus on my health and fitness. I am going to try new things, new classes, new forms of fitness, and new food! I am going to go out more. As in spending less time in the gym, and more time outside. And I am going to enjoy life in every way I can.
This is definitely a new beginning for me. I don't know how I ever lived not paying attention to my whole self. I don't ever want to go back to that. And I think I have hit a point where that isn't even an option.
I like this too much.
Until next time <3
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